Marriage According To The Kingdom Of God
In the beginning after creation, the Bible talks about a marriage, Adam and Eve, then, in the New Testament, Jesus started His ministry with a wedding in Canaan, and finally at the end of time, the Scriptures tells us it will be the Wedding of the Lamb to His Bride, the Church. This makes us come to the conclusion that marriage is very important. And because marriage was instituted by God, the only way a couple will succeed in their marriage will be by following God’s direction in how to do it.
1- Surrendered lives
II Corinthians 6:14 NKJV
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
First of all, for a Kingdom marriage to be established, a man must be surrendered to God and wait for God’s timing and direction when He will bring the appropriate woman to him. The woman in turn also must be surrendered to Christ, waiting for the man God has for her. Jesus must not be an addition to their lives but they must submit to His lordship in every area of their lives. He must be number one!
Secondly, after much prayer and godly counsel they can enter into courtship, where they begin to seek God together about their future. After a time of growing in friendship and understanding of the tremendous responsibility and commitment they are entering in, they get engaged and set their wedding day. Always maintaining moral integrity and not giving place to temptations. Many couples want to honour the Lord and each other by setting boundaries, such as not kissing and full body hugs, and avoiding alone time in private settings, until the day when they make covenant before God and witnesses.
They are accountable to godly leaders and godly parents because often emotions can get in the way of good judgment. The world may mock this approach to marriage but the world doesn’t know a thing about God’s pure love. All their so called love is lust based, how they feel and what they can get out of the relationship.
In contrast the godly couple knows that in a true marriage in the Kingdom you lay down your life for the other person, you serve each other, the reflection of Christ and His Church, all for the sake of God’s Kingdom.
Point to discuss:
The Lord will never approve of a born again believer wanting to marry an unbeliever. This is unscriptural which means it’s not God’s will. No need to pray about it and ask what the Lord feels about it, it is clear in the Bible. (See 2 Corinthians 6:14)
2- Trust the Lord with all of your heart.
Proverbs 3:5-7 NKJV
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil.”
Our pre-conceived ideas of marriage has been influenced by our culture, education, experience and our own desires and fears. Some of these influences may not be bad but as Born again believers we must come to the source, our Father God, and learn from Him. Trust the Lord and don’t lean on your own understanding, knowledge, abilities and emotions. Let Him lead you and let Him bring that person to you, just like God brought Eve to Adam, He can bring the right person to you. With so many millions of people around the world how can you choose the right one, impossible! That’s why it’s best to leave it to the Lord, He knows best and remember that for Him nothing is impossible!
Point to discuss:
Desires and fears you have surrender or need to surrender to Christ in relation to marriage. How are you trusting the Lord in this area of your life?
3- We regard no one according to the flesh.
II Corinthians 5:15-17 NKJV
“and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
People tend to chose for themselves someone they fancy physically and consider the benefits they will get from the relationship. Worldly dating agencies tell people that relationships can only work when the couple are compatible one to another, liking the same things, etc. But as born again believers we don’t have to look for someone compatible to us except in the things of the Kingdom, we cannot regard anyone according to the flesh, we must see them the way He sees them in the Spirit. When you let the Lord choose the person for you, that person will be the perfect one for you, this doesn’t mean the person is perfect but she/he is perfectly suited to you.
Points to discuss:
how much the Lord has changed you since being born again.
4- The purpose of Marriage
Colossians 3:18-19 TPT
“Let every wife be supportive and tenderly devoted to her husband, for this is a beautiful illustration of our devotion to Christ. Let every husband be filled with cherishing love for his wife and never be insensitive (or bitter) toward her.”
Ephesians 5:22-33 AMP
25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. 28 Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined [and be faithfully devoted] to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. 33 However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behaviour worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honouring him, and holding him dear].
The purpose of marriage is for two people, a man and a woman to become one flesh and together reflect God’s love and radiate God’s glory here on earth. And to raise up godly children who will also bring glory to God.
Not everyone has to marry, but if you marry it must be for God’s purpose and not for selfish reasons, If you remain single, God’s grace covers you, He is your husband and you lack nothing. It is much better to stay single than marry the wrong person.
Point to discuss:
How do you view marriage now in Christ? What is the Lord teaching you?
5- Expressing real love
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
NKJV
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.
MSG
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”
TPT
“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessings comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honour. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offence. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”
This kind of God’s love is so pure and perfect that seems impossible to achieve, that’s why the only way to love like this, is to receive it supernaturally. How? Surrender your life to Him; He loves you more than you know, think or imagine. He gave His life for you, even down to the last drop of blood. Accept His love and forgiveness and let Him fill you with the Holy Spirit, then, His way of love comes easily and when it doesn’t, His grace is available for us, where sacrificial love comes into action. This is pure worship to Him.
Points to discuss
Compare the different versions of this passage and relate it to marriage and to our own relationship with Christ.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you you demonstrated your love for me when your Son Jesus died on that cross for the forgiveness of my sins, thank you for such great love. I receive it right now and I give you not only my heart but my whole life, fill me with your Holy Spirit to overflow in this love to others.
Heal my heart and mind from previous hurts and traumas concerning relationships and set me free from fears that stops me trusting you.
Let me reflect your light to the people around me through my marriage or singleness.
In Jesus Name I pray.
Amen
Karina Maile